


5 examples and an ongoing investigation

by barryalllen



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Hurt/Comfort, Idiots in Love, Lots of dialogue, M/M, POV Iwaizumi Hajime, Slow Burn, Some Cursing, i think, i think again
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-15
Updated: 2020-07-15
Packaged: 2021-03-05 03:22:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,504
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25287511
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/barryalllen/pseuds/barryalllen
Summary: I guess what I’m trying to say is I like you, Hajime.I’m sorry Tooru, I just don’t feel the same way.No, that wasn’t what he meant.What he meant was,I’m sorry Tooru, I don’t deserve your love.So why did it all come out wrong then?
Relationships: Iwaizumi Hajime/Oikawa Tooru
Comments: 4
Kudos: 54





	5 examples and an ongoing investigation

_I guess what I’m trying to say is I like you, Hajime._

_I’m sorry Tooru, I just don’t feel the same way._

No, that wasn’t what he meant.

What he meant was, _I’m sorry Tooru, I don’t deserve your love._

So why did it all come out wrong then?

It’s sad but true.

Iwaizumi thinks he’s incapable of being loved.

Thirteen-year-old Hajime realised this on the day his mother joked, “Look at you Hajime! You’re only a month older and you take care of Tooru like your life depends on it,”

She wasn’t lying now, was she?

As far as he could remember, Iwaizumi was always keeping a lookout on Oikawa, whether he knew it or not.

_**Example 1: Tooru and Hajime (7), playing on an open field.** _

“Damn it! So itchy!” Oikawa complained, furiously scratching the bites on his calves, fingernails digging deeper into his skin.

“Tch! I told you to spray insect repellent!” He sighed. “Let’s go back. I think my mom has some ointment we can use so the itch stops. Let’s go,”

_**Example 2: Tooru and Hajime (11), having received their exam results.** _

“Shit!”

“Don’t curse.”

“You curse too! My dad is gonna kill me once he finds out,”

“It can’t be that bad,” Oikawa flashed his exam paper in front of Iwaizumi’s eyes.

“Oh,” His face fell. “I told you to stop practicing volleyball and start studying. This is on you.”

“Iwa-chan. You’re literally the worst at this. You sound a whole lot like my mom.”

 _I’m just trying to look out for you._ “But I’m right though,”

“I’m gonna find someone else who can actually comfort me,”

“Ugh,” Iwaizumi rolled his eyes. “I’ll go home with you okay? Your dad has a soft spot for me, he probably won’t scold you if I’m around. And I can say that I’m helping you with your studies, which I should to be honest.”

_**Example 3: Tooru and Hajime (16), when Tooru had injured his knee.** _

“Iwaizumi, take him to the nurses’ office.” He nodded.

The walk from the gymnasium to the office was excruciatingly painful. Oikawa’s grunts and heavy footsteps pierced through the silence between them.

“Tooru, are you okay?” Hajime had one hand on Tooru’s arm, the other supporting his waist. “Do you need me to carry you?”

“I’m fine,” the tone of his voice reflected the opposite of his words. “And before you say anything, please don’t lecture me. Not today okay?”

Tooru bickered, though Hajime could hear the pain in his voice.

“Wasn’t planning to,” he half-joked.

“Frankly there’s not much we can do, you’ll have to visit the doctor or head to the hospital for an x-ray checkup. For now, it’s best to just numb your knee.” The school nurse spoke softly, handing Iwaizumi an ice bag. “You two can stay here till you feel better.” He headed out, leaving the pair in the cold and brightly-lit room.

Silence slowly engulfed the room.

Iwaizumi gently placed the bag of ice onto Oikawa’s knee, resulting in Oikawa wincing at the pain.

“Fuck,” Tooru whispered.

“Fuck,” he repeated, this time louder. “Everything hurts so fucking bad, Hajime.” The lump in Tooru’s throat grew, as tears pricked from the corner of his eyes.

Hajime knew his knee wasn’t the only pain he was referring to.

“Hey, it’s okay,” Hajime leaned forward, letting Tooru cry on his chest. “It’s okay, you’re okay,” he cooed, stroking the back of Tooru’s head softly. “You’re not alone Tooru, I’m here. I’m with you. I always will be.” Tears continued streaming down Tooru’s face. “Breathe, Tooru. Slowly okay? You’ll be alright, I promise. You know I don’t break promises.”

_**Example 4: Tooru and Hajime (17), after Tooru’s second breakup.** _

“Oikawa get up,”

“She broke up with me,”

“Oh. Uhm I’m sorry,” Hajime spoke, with a hint of uneasiness. “Look, we don’t have all day to sit and sulk, we should get going before it rains.”

“Iwaizumi please,”

He tensed at the name.

“C’mon Oikawa let’s just go-”

Tooru sighed.

“Shouldn’t this be easier, considering you’ve broken up before?” Iwaizumi realised how wrong the words were the moment he said it.

Oikawa sat up straight before releasing his muscles, “I knew it. You wouldn’t get it.” He said, half-laughing and half-crying.

“What?”

“I said, you wouldn’t get it.” He mumbled.

“What?” Hajime was growing impatient. “Can we just go? I don’t want to miss the train aga-”

“I said you wouldn’t understand, okay? You’ve never had a girlfriend or a boyfriend! You’re always complaining about this or that and you’re always so crude and blunt. You’ve never found someone to love, do you even know what love means?”

_Yeah I do, I'm in love with you_.

“I’m gonna go,” Hajime replied deadpanned, resisting the urge to let his emotions flow out.

_**Example 5: Tooru and Hajime (18), at Hajime’s having a sleepover.** _

“Iwa-chan, you awake?”

“No,”

“Your stupid movie gave me a nightmare. I don’t care I’m sleeping with you.”

“Mm.”

Oikawa climbed out of his sleeping bag and into Iwaizumi’s bed. His bedspread smelled exactly like him, the fresh scent of mint and daisies.

He looked up to the ceiling where he saw two glow-in-the-dark star stickers pasted on the top, a small present that Oikawa gifted him years ago. _“That’s you and me,”_ he recalled. _“You’re the smaller one of course.”_

“You know Iwa-chan, you look really cute when you’re asleep,”

Hajime wasn’t asleep though.

Iwaizumi woke up to Oikawa snuggled safely between his arms, as he watched his chest rise and fall rhythmically. The sunlight was really doing him justice, Iwaizumi thought. He tucked his hair behind his ear, savouring this moment as much as he could.

“Well good morning to you too, Iwa-chan.” The sudden voice startled Hajime and he immediately drew his arm back. “Thanks for letting me sleep on your bed.”

“Technically I didn’t agree,”

“You didn’t object either,”

“Whatever. Fine, you win. Wanna talk about your nightmare?”

He shrugged his shoulders. “Nah. I can’t remember it anyway.”

_**Ongoing investigation: Tooru and Hajime (still 18, just a few months later), the day of Tooru’s confession.** _

_I guess what I’m trying to say is I like you, Hajime._

_I’m sorry Tooru, I just don’t feel the same way._

[No, that wasn’t what he meant.

What he meant was, _I’m sorry Tooru, I don’t deserve your love._

So why did it all come out wrong then?

Why did he say that? After all, didn't he love Tooru before he knew what that word meant?

Maybe it’s the fear of commitment, the uncertainty of knowing how long they will last.

Maybe it’s the future that scares him, what if one day Tooru stops loving me?

Maybe it’s just his own brain telling him no, _you’re not ready for this Hajime._ ]

_Oh,_ he still remembered Oikawa’s voice cracking. _I understand. I’ll head off first._

The words continued lingering in his head for the next few days.

 _What am I supposed to do?_ He couldn’t stop thinking.

I love Tooru so much, too much.

_What if I ended up hurting him instead?_

Hajime ended up not saying anything. He felt bad, he knew Tooru deserved a better answer.

Tension only grew thicker when they cross paths in hallways, classrooms, and the worst of all, during training.

“Hey Iwaizumi, I don’t know what’s up with you and Oikawa but you two should fix it. You’re our captains in case you’ve forgotten. You do know your mood sets the atmosphere for the entire team right?” Makki reprimanded. At first, he thought it was another one of those petty fights, only to realise it was much more serious than that.

“Yeah,” Iwaizumi let out a big sigh. “I know.”

“You wanna talk about it?”

“I think I’m good.”

A week has passed and still, nothing has happened.

Iwaizumi thought it was a good idea to distance himself from Oikawa even further than he already did, hoping that this whole situation would just end. _If we just stopped seeing each other, our feelings would fade, right?_

Wrong.

Distance only made his heart grow fonder, and he learned it the hard way.

The countless nights Iwaizumi stayed till 2 a.m. looking through his gallery, compiling all their photos into one album, in fact. Too bad Iwaizumi doesn’t have the heart to delete them though. Not to mention staring at Oikawa’s contact for thirty minutes every night, unsure if he should call or text him something. The ache in his heart continued to grow.

A month has passed and Hajime decided he can no longer take it anymore. Thirty days without Tooru felt like an eternity to him.

 _I miss you so much, Tooru._

Have you forgotten about me already?

Or do you want me as much as I want you?

Only time will tell.

-

“Oikawa?” Iwaizumi clutched his phone tightly.

“Iwaizumi?”

“Can we talk?”

“Yeah. Just give me a minute there’s someone at the door.”

“Hey Tooru,” the voice from the door and phone called out in unison.

**Author's Note:**

> halfway thru this i realised i wasnt making sense but ive already committed to it So . also i hope the ending makes sense erm Yayyyy thank u for reading!!!!!!!! u can find me @tobioallen on twitter have a nice day :]


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